


I Confess

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e15 Ellie, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-23
Updated: 2006-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-30 12:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna muses over her feelings for Josh while watching "Dial M for Murder".





	I Confess

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

TITLE: I Confess (1/1)  
AUTHOR: Laurel A.  
SPOILERS: Everything up to, and including, Ellie.  
RATING: PG  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this stuff; please  
don't sue.  
ARCHIVE: Archive anyplace, just let me know first.  
SUMMARY: Donna muses about her feelings for Josh  
while watching Dial M for Murder.  
RATING: PG  
AUTHORS NOTE: "I Confess" is the name of another  
Alfred Hitchcock film � incidentally, Karl Malden, who  
played POTUS' priest in Take This Sabbath Day, is in  
the movie. "I Confess," a box office flop, was  
released just prior to "Dial M for Murder." Special  
thanks this time to Marty. And, as always, thanks to  
the Super Cool Michelle (and, yeah, we are cool).

This is the next installment in the newly named series  
by Michelle Hoffmann and myself:

OUR TWO CONSCIENCES:  
Roles by Laurel A.  
Masks by Michelle H.  
Donna Moss Talks About Sex and Joey Lucas by Laurel A.  
Josh Lyman Talks About Strategy by Michelle H.  
Late At Night In The Soft Warm Glow by Laurel A.  
Perfect Clarity by Michelle H.  
I Confess by Laurel A.  
Static Electricity by Michelle H.

We are sitting in the White House screening room  
watching Dial M For Murder. I hadn't been to a  
screening here yet, but being here now makes me truly  
sorry I didn't come sooner. It is really cool perk of  
working at the White House. It isn't $8.00 a ticket,  
the floors aren't sticky, the seats are comfortable,  
and the drinks and snacks don't cost $18.50.

When I say "we" are sitting in the White House  
screening room, I mean Josh and me. There are about  
20 other people here as well, but I am not counting  
them. Okay, I'll count the President and Ellie, but  
that's it. Because right now, it I am finding it hard  
to follow the movie. Josh is not only occupying the  
seat next to me (a fact of which I am keenly aware)  
but he is also taking up most of my thought process  
right now.

Let's review the story so far, shall we:

1) I don't know if I am ready for Josh to tell me  
that he knows I am Under-Appreciated, Misunderstood,  
Always-There-for-Him-When-He-Needs-Me, and that he  
loves me as Quirky-Assistant.

2) I am scared of Real-Josh finding out that  
Real-Donna thinks so much of him. I am also scared of  
Real-Josh meeting someone to be Real _with_. But, I  
don't think that Post-Shooting-Josh is ready to give  
his heart to anyone, and that makes me feel better.

3) And finally, I confess, that sitting there in my  
heart, are definite feelings for Josh.

Feelings -- what does that mean? It sounds way too "I  
am in touch with my inner transcendentalist self."  
I'm just not sure what a better word for it is. Crush  
\-- too High School. Attraction -- too scientific.  
Love � too soon (did I really just think that?).  
Fondness -- too Miss Manners. Affection -- too  
chaste. Devotion -- too Olivia Newton John in  
"Grease." Oh, great, now I have "Hopelessly Devoted  
To You" in my head.

Back in reality, here in the theatre, Josh shakes our  
huge tub of popcorn at me. We are sitting next to  
each other and it really does feel like we are alone;  
we're the only ones in our row, and there is no one in  
front or in back of us. Josh and I are sharing the  
biggest tub of popcorn they have, he's got his usual  
Diet Coke (fooling himself that it this is a _healthy_  
part of his diet somehow balancing all those burnt  
hamburgers), and I am drinking my usual root beer.

In spite of the fact that we have never been to the  
movies together -- I mean without practically the  
entire senior staff and the Secret Service filling up  
every row while on the campaign trail -- we have  
spontaneously developed a pattern. He tilts the  
popcorn towards me, I take some, then he takes some.  
We repeat this rhythmic pattern every couple of  
minutes, both sipping our sodas in between.

This happens a lot when we do things together � things  
just fall into place, into an easy rhythm; I love that  
about being with Josh. I love it when we work quietly  
together or when we eat together; at those times I  
think we both feel the comfort of just being together  
and doing whatever we are doing. It seems like a  
complementary flip side to our banter; it's a natural  
aspect of our dynamic that we can also be quiet  
together.

Now and then, however, we get a little off track of  
our popcorn pattern and bump hands. We exchange the  
usual movie-theatre-whispers of "sorry" and then get  
back into the swing of things. Until it happens  
again; and I begin to wonder if I am upsetting the  
rhythm by reaching too soon. But every time our hands  
touch, it strikes me how warm and smooth his skin  
feels, and darn it, it's distracting.

Just as I am mulling all of this over in my mind and  
thinking way too much about Josh and his smooth hands,  
he turns to me and says, "This isn't good." For a  
second there, I thought he meant the hand bumping.  
Turns out though, that he is concerned about the  
President, who is not giving his usual running  
commentary during the movie.

And there it is again; just like when we bump hands, I  
get that stab of emotion I used to call "school  
stomach." It's that stomach-flip thing you get on the  
first day of school, or when you feel that warm surge  
of electricity when you brush up against your boss'  
warm smooth hand in the popcorn tub, or when he  
whispers to you in the movies about the President of  
the United States. Yeah, that feeling.

I try to concentrate on the movie again, we continue  
back on track with our popcorn sharing and in a couple  
of minutes, the President comes back in and taps Josh  
on the shoulder. We both look over at him at the same  
time; the President whispers something to Josh about  
the Surgeon General and Josh taps my leg as he gets up  
(school stomach again).

Josh is now standing up facing the President and he's  
got his back to me. I have just slipped from "This  
Feels Like Junior High" to something a little more,  
um, adult. In spite of his lack of exercise, or maybe  
because of it, and I hate to have to admit that Joey  
Lucas is right about his butt -- I am starting to see  
Josh in a whole new role: Red-Hot-Sex-Machi....Okay, I  
think I was channeling Josh's immense ego just then,  
but still, I'm just saying. And don't give me that  
look for using the word "immense" in relation to Josh.

Must concentrate on the movie. Must concentrate on  
the movie. Must concentrate on the movie. This is my  
new mantra.

  


End file.
